Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June 1st

So, part of the reason I wanted to start this whole blog thing was sort of document my journey through life and climbing. Yeah I write about how I climbed _____, it was cool. I went and climbed _____, it was scary. There's so much more to it than I could ever explain. Like how much of a crazy mental game this whole experience is. 
I am human, I do have issues that I constantly work on, and this entire blog is a glimpse at my attempt to figure out my life with climbing.. 

This is my life and it’s ending one minute at a time. Let’s stop fucking wasting it on being worried, being scared (the unhealthy type), and being sad.
I am way too strong and determined to let this take control of me. I am putting my head down as I am getting slammed into the ground. I am being taken advantage by the negativity that relentlessly swarms around my head.

I'm having a very difficult time getting out what is in my head right now... for that reason, this post isn't written neatly formed paragraphs.. 

It is not my personality to be easily irritated or frustrated. I am a loving person who wants to live every moment of life to its greatest capacity.

At least I’m not on some goddamn sunny beach somewhere. This is what makes me live. This is what makes me human. This is what helps me realize how enormous the idea and reality of happiness is.

Appreciate the chaos.. everything is black and white. You either get up a climb or you fall. You succeed or you fail. You're happy or you're sad. 
Appreciate experience of being cold, tired, scared. 
            These are the experiences that will help me truly appreciate life itself.
Think about the abilities I DO have, not what I DON’T have
Make calculated and responsible risks
Delete or diminish unreasonable or phantom fear
When I get scared, intimidated by what I don’t know, go back to why I love climbing
            Think about why I really do this stuff

Why I am motivated:
Wanting to overcome tangible obstacles like I want to overcome obstacles in my life
It’s challenging..
            If it wasn’t challenging, I wouldn’t be doing it, it wouldn’t be satisfying
            If the Nose was easy, if any El Cap route was easy... it would take away from the legitimacy and craziness of it all..

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